Well-Behaved Monsters (paperback)

Conventional wisdom in the pickup world is dead. Such is the dread soaked revelation sinking in, for this loose pack of twentysomething singles, after endless outings on the nightlife scene.

But what battleground tactics will lead them to the promised land instead? The answers to this riddle prove as shocking as the strategies employed. For they will soon settle upon a series of outrageous stunts, meant to make them stand out from the anonymous rabble - while it's true that smacking random strangers on their backsides is perhaps not as common as it used to be, most standard icebreakers have been trod so far into the ground that there's no hope of standing out otherwise. Much more original approaches are therefore required instead.

For example, what about pretending to be married? Or dressing the part and learning the lingo necessary to invade the country music, hip-hop, and beach bum scenes? Is wearing an eyepatch totally out of the question? These and many other timeless mysteries are among those this intrepid group investigates at length and acts upon.

When some of them eventually discover what truly works, the results are as unexpected as their outlandish ideas. Still others will refuse to believe in their successes, despite the causes and effects parading around in plain sight. For most, however, in particular their hapless targets, once these concepts catch fire, they have considerable reason to wish this mischievous, costumed genie had never been poured from its mid-range liquor bottle. Oh, if only they could return to a quainter day, when everyone was screwing around with silly props instead! Because when it becomes irrefutable what kind of twisted behavior acts like a magnet in attracting mates, these findings are legitimately monstrous, and give everybody involved a dimmer view of human nature.